I hope this makes sense as its covering a period of time but not necessarily in order of occurrence...
There is this really HOT girl i know,and am not being biased,everyone who has met her thinks she is hot.I got talking to her and i realised she was nothing close to what i first thought when i met her.She is sweet albeit emotional and has constructed enough walls around her to make it hard enough to know her.But with time and lots of coaxing,i have come to sort of know her.I say sort of because i don't want to claim i do when maybe am just meeting one of her many facades.Anyway,i have spent some time with her and it is always with alcohol involved when am being honest and true to myself and i have a blast because i wont stop laughing(its a hobby).But sometime ago she said something that got me thinking,do lesbians ever take the time to truly know each other?how is it that most of our friendships are based on our sexuality and not on character or things we have in common?And as we get to know people,how come we are not able to decipher for ourselves whether all we hear about them from other people is true?and how is it that when we hear them,we don't give them the benefit of the doubt?dot people deserve a chance to prove themselves before we make them friends or enemies?Is anything in life ever truly black or white?
Then there is the girl i went to school with,years ago.She was a good friend and currently i we are working together on one of the many projects i am currently doing.She was sweet and innocent then and now she is still sweet but not so innocent.We got drinking with the girl recently and she got cosy and comfortable.I really considered having sex with her but her boyfriend was around so i asked for his permission(i don't know what i was thinking)and he granted it.I think she had also asked for permission because when she came to see me,she said he wanted to see us make out(that is such a straight man cliche)and i kissed her in front of him and didn't think much of it.But my surprise came when he left and i had her under me on the bed and she didn't have her top on and i thought i would never want to stop sucking those perky breasts and her nipple that just seemed to be screaming 'suck me,bite me!'.The kissing was not all that,but what she lacked in form of talent in that area,her boobs took my mind off it...But i stopped when she told me how horny she was and i told her to leave before we couldn't go back.Before you even say how stupid i am,you need to know that i have had enough straight girls in my bed who wake up the next morning and sit at the edge of the bed crying...i think almost ever lesbian has had them.They cry and get an attack of guilt that they try to shift on me and as i still have to work with this girl,i didn't want to have her guilt hanging over her head and the easy friendship we have.But boy was i wrong,its still strained and am wondering why the fuck didn't i just fucking screw her???Are you starting to see the grey?
Then last but not least,there is the girl i met just the other day.I had plans with my girlfriends but one had to cancel because of love and the other just has issues so i had beauty with me and we invited a good friend along and her friend.Keep in mind we were now 3 girls.We went to a friend place but stopped at a local to have a drink or two and we all got really cosy and comfortable with each other and it was easy to tell that something was definitely going to go down.I was actually looking forward to it for the first time in a while(genuinely looking forward to it that is).But we had some drama when we got to the house.Have you ever cooked and you cant see anything because of how drunk you are?But we cooked and ate then drank some more,then finally went to bed.That's when the drama started (i cant share what the drama was,i don't want to lose credibility with some new friends)but that drama showed me how good i am at crisis management(too bad i don't do so well in evading the crisis that plague my life)...where was i?....oh yeah, we went to bed and the bulbs were barely cold when you could hear sound tracks that would have you wet in a heart beat.Then it happened again,just as it has been happening since February,i got wet so fast but when she touched me,i went dry.I don't get it,why does it keep happening???I am having no problem in fucking women,but one can make and keep me wet except the one that i cant have(and even that am not so sure about considering am not having her...yet!).So anyway,being the smart girl i am not usually,i let her go down on me and tried my level best to get into it and didn't let her go any further,turned around and let my thoughts lull me to sleep.I woke up the next morning feeling guilty but i can live with guilt better than i can live with faking it.And now i think i have just made a new friend that i will keep close and hopefully make amends by giving her an epiphany to write home about....Back to the other 2 friends,i know beauty had loads of fun and she would kick my ass for saying she didn't but her situation is delicate and oh so not plain and dandy,so am still asking,is everything ever just black or white???
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