Trust...not much

I was thinking about relationships in Lezville and their life spans that as a friend recently noted is about a month and 1 day.I totally saw it all played out before me as i heard so much crap that i didn't need or want to hear and it got me so shaken and paranoid and as i got myself riled up, didn't stop to note the date.Then it just dawned me.The month and one day.Am i really pulling another one?I got thinking about the what i had learnt from all the others that had gone by.On Joy i pulled a move and went to Coast to see D and here i am,another and i want to pull the i don't trust you card,whining and pining all the time when all i want to do is laugh as much as i can and love as much too.I know i can be a whiner,sometimes i whine so much even to myself and it breeds self pity that brings me down but the whole purpose and living and loving is to find someone i can spend those moments at home with.The girl i go with to the club or out for dinner or picnic with (yes,i also know that am corny...'blush'...)but that's exactly what am looking for.Am not sure that you are the one,but how will i know if you are if all the time i have is spent fighting,straightening out issues...and heavens forbid,spying!Trust is the one thing we all lack in each other.Some might argue that its because we are scared of losing what we have before we have i that its easier to give it up before we get too attached.I asked myself why i chose her and i realise that i was not short of offers,but i forewent all the offers i had and chased her.Why???That's for me to know,but that's the main thing i need to focus on.Trust is earned,but if am constantly proving i don't have any in you,then am making no progress.This relationship is making no progress.Progress is when we are both growing enough together to trust in each other.Its earned but sometimes i have to cut you some slack.
Lesson learnt : The best things in life aren't free,they are earned!And a month and 1 day is not enough time to figure you out...Which i want to do...