hopes or false hopes???

After careful consideration about whether or not i want to continue writing about my 'marriage' i have to come to the conclusion that i do,just not on this post.
Anyway,that aside,i have been going through alot this past 2 weeks and much as i would like to blame it on the baby,i know some of it is of my own making.For instance,i have been obsessing about a certain someone.wanting to call them and hear their voice at all hours of the day and night,feeling pangs of loneliness even while surrounded by people,waking in the middle of the night pining for her touch and many other emotions that am not well equipped to deal with.i say they are of my own making because all this begun when i started questioning my decision to leave and let live the situations in my life as was.
I realize that i have no authority to change any one's mind,but seeing as i have spent the last 2 or so months with unanswered questions i thought now was as good a time as any to get answers...so i went in search of them...what i found seems to have made me make a decision that am scared i might live to regret...I wonder,can you really love someone and still leave them?can you really marry someone just for you to wake up one morning and decide that much as you love the person and nothing is wrong you need to leave?can you really declare that someone loves you too much for their own good?how do you measure another's love and deem it so much that you don't deserve it?please explain to me how that works because to be honest i don't get it.So after getting the answers i have been chasing after for so long, i got a chance to sit and analyse the situation further and make up my mind thus this post...
Beauty came to see me yesterday and we got to talking and unlike most other friendships in lezville,we have a special bond that nobody would understand.we can go for months without seeing each other but the moment we do,its like we were together the day before.we talk for hours and i don't feel the need to lie about what i feel or what am thinking or how i want to deal with anything and yesterday was no exception.I haven't had a chance to vent and cry over my pain in the company of a shoulder to cry on (i didn't cry yesterday in case you are wondering)but i got what i needed.I find at times when i say things out loud instead of in my mind all the time,i tend to put things into perspective and yesterday i got just that.I haven't been totally honest with myself because every now and again i tell myself what i think i want to hear even when its not true...i have been telling myself for weeks i don't care why she left and i even managed to convince my other self that i was ready to let her go...now i find myself in a dilemma.how do i fight for someone who doesn't want to be fought for?how do i give myself hopes knowing that they might be false hopes?...I now have an answer,love is when you forgive and try to forget and even when you cant,forget that is,you know that you cant stop fighting for it.so,now i guess you know what am not doing...