Do i doubt it?

You used to miss me with every second that went by,
I always doubted that you would ever stop,that was my game right?
I never thought i would see the second when you wouldn't miss me
I never thought the second would come when i would doubt myself.
You used to call me with every day that went by,
It was my daily dose of re-assurance that the sky wasnt falling
I never thought it would come to pass and be like this
I never thought the realisation would sting as it does.
You used to say it to me all the time,
Recently you have said it once in an eternity,
I always thought you would be here to say it,
I never realised that it was your voice and not the words.
You used to sing me a lullaby and put me to sleep every night
But you dont even care anymore now than you did yesterday
Did i ever think it would be so bad,
Am i just losing faith or realising the truth?
Do i doubt the thoughts in my head?
Do i doubt the voices that taunt?
Do i doubt that this is the reality?
Do i doubt that it will never be again?
I used to ask you all these questions,
The voice of sanity in a world full of bullshit,
The reason i had for living everyday,
Do i doubt that i have lost my mind?
It used to be so simple,
Now its so freaking hard,
The distance, the rules, the limitations,
Don't you miss the freedom we had?
Don't you miss me?
Do i doubt that you think about me?
Do i doubt that you care?
Do i doubt you or myself?
Does it matter that i have doubts?
Do you even understand my doubts anymore?
You said it's a temporary setback,
You said it was a hurdle we had to cross,
You said it would work itself out,
Do i now doubt all that you said?
Do i now doubt the wisdom of all the pacts made?
Do i doubt it all?