Not again...;-)

Every time i sit to write this post,i want to throw my head back and scream to let it all out..But considering all the places i am when i write this,i think am going to just sit and keep giggling like am suffering from a delayed stage of adolescence.I have been having the time of my life for some time now,Until i made a mistake (i was going to say tragic for effect but it wasn't that bad).I told you about Joy and how happy she makes me and how much she loves me, but i omitted a couple of things (sins of omission?).Joy really did love me, and i thought that i in turn loved her too but as time went by, i realised how selfish i was being...the girl was giving me her all and i wasn't willing to invest my time or emotions in that relationship..Like i said,it was a sin of omission.I really liked her,but i liked more about her than i did her.I met a girl who kissed my ass as often as possible,i was adored and with everything i did to that girl and i never once felt guilty,i think it was wrong so i decided to end it with her before i dragged her through a year of life with me with no hopes whatever.And that got me thinking about most of the women i know,we are such a complicated group of women who half the time are in relationships for companionship not love,attention and all the desires of the flesh that we have.For most of us,relationships are based on sex that's why they don't stand the test of time or trials and if not sex,its because someone loves us so much,we know we are not likely to find such love elsewhere.Yet the relationships that do work (i can name few of those...D & G, D & I, D &M ...i just noticed most of their names start with D,but none is Diana) are based on Love that doesn't end,it just suffocates...am sure in a couple of years (if i have anything to do with it) there will be a headline in the papers, 'DEATH BY LOVE' and am sure then, all those pastors who marry people will be in court getting sued for not telling people how devastating the effects of love can be.But that is besides the point,I have been writing this post for weeks now (way before i ended it with Joy) and every time i sit to write it,i have to keep editing.But am glad i did not post it before today because i would like to address an issue with a couple of people...There is a girl,her name is Janet (this is her real name) who when i met Joy,she was always calling her and a couple of times i picked up those calls (just so she knows,i had Joy's permission to blow her off) and she had such an attitude problem.Anyone who knows me knows that am very nice even when am being a bitch (I try) so when i said yes to being in a relationship with Joy i decided i needed to be nice to Janet and i took the initiative and called her (Joy was right there next to me when i called her) and the girl went on bitch mode (giiiirrrll...if it's attitude you want,you just have to ask,i can give better than i get) and i just started laughing and hang up and i never tried again.But i recently heard that since she heard we broke up,she actually opened her mouth and said Joy left because she was still in love with her.Janet,am not going to speak for anyone here,just myself.I respected you enough not to push for us to meet and even when you told my best friend that you and Joy were fucking behind my back i still didn't go out of my way to smash you into pieces but i realise you still don't know where to stick your nose.Please stay the fuck away from my business....its not my fault that the 2 of you could not work something out,and now that i have left her,you can try your luck again.I hope it works out (not really,i just don't care either way) and maybe she can control where you stick your nose @.   That having been said,am much happier....
That being said,i meant to make a confession but that's for the next post...