To happy times...

First i would like to name my awesome friends who have become my second family...the one that's in love with a married man,we can call her Hawk...teddy bears girlfriend we can call B.B (am very sure some smart person out there will understand what that stands for...the one with cancer we can call Mammy (after all,she is like a mother to us...then there is Daddy (who is out of this world awesome and loves us dearly but is really into Jesus)...then my faith can finally get a name...Belle (she is beautiful,smart,sweet,kind and all the nice things you can think of,but the name is mostly because i think of her as my belle...and we have Dad (screwed up family right?) who i like sometimes and hate at other times...
Well,to catch you up,Hawk i had told you earlier is in mad like with a married man.That hasn't changed (wish it had because she is setting herself up and i don't know how to make her see it) and she has been going through stuff that i would hate to put here because it is so personal.But maybe i can hint at it?She is great and is the only one i call to tell how scared i am that i think am falling in love again and i get these nightmares that am going to come tumbling down this mountain at full speed and die after i hit the ground hard and she has been a major help except when she insists on telling me that i am going to fall down the mountain (normally what i want is a reassurance that no such thing will happen) but of late she has been very distant.She has really been secluding herself (maybe its because we all tend to give alot of tough love) and am worried about her.Her health is also a cause of concern because i know she is suffering from something (or was) but chose to hide it from us (mostly am bothered because she hid it from me).
Now to B.B,this girl is close to my heart and i find her so special.She has been through alot and i appreciate her strength in times of trials.She is my saviour when i need one and my scale of standard.We work together and share alot.It turns out,she really has commitment issues...i shall explain...She really likes teddy bear and he is a great guy (i think) but she is convinced that he is cheating on her.The other time,(the story was sort of sorted...with drama coming up of course)and it turned out he wasn't cheating (it just hit me,isn't that trust issues?!?) but she insists that she has this nagging feeling (call it intuition if you want)that something somewhere is a miss.I think the feeling comes from the fact that he doesn't want the world to know about them...yet (his words,not mine).Which has had me thinking,is the reason because he is a public figure or because he is playing games with her?That only he can answer...
Mammy like i said is our strength yet still she is our greatest weakness.For her i know we would do some really stupid things.She hasn't been doing very well of late and am not sure why she just wont let one of us take her to a doctor???She told me recently that the doctor gave her only one year and that really shook me,but i want to make it the best year of her life.I have known this woman(she doesn't qualify to be called a girl,after all,she is our mother) for years and she gives some really good advice (except when she told me that i would not make progress with Belle),that i took abit personally but now am over it (i think,am not very good at getting things out of my mind,so am just guessing here)...
Daddy,well,that's a very special person,she is a woman/girl,not gay at all but she cares about us all deeply.She is one of the few people i think is out of this world(next to mammy).She defend mammy when i want to kill her and listens to what i say and understands by reading between the lines.She is a dear...
Then there is Dad that i have a love/hate relationship with.This girl drives me nuts sometimes.She is dating a beautiful girl and says she loves this girl but deep down inside me,i have this feeling that she is not entirely there.I don't know if my sisters think the same,but speaking for myself,i think she has a soft spot for mammy...I don't get their relationship but hey,i guess its none of my business...
Then there was Belle...Am not sure if anyone truly knows her.Even my closest friend in and out of lezville,haven't officially met her.I want to keep her my little secret abit longer (yet i want to scream at the world that she is mine,print banners and hang them on the street,put the ads on t.v and radio n write whole books about it)because i feel if i say it too soon,i will wake up and it will all have been a sweet dream (or is it a beautiful nightmare?)She worries about me (i like that alotYAAAAY!!!i could do a jig just for writing it down,i have been absorbing that she actually likes me that's why i didn't share the GOOOOD news.She wasn't feeling well last week and had me so worried.But now that she is getting better,am fine...
A couple of weeks ago,we all started a trend of going to mammy's house and bumming all weekend.But the last bumming weekend we had,we had a family outing (which hawk did not attend...i told you she is segregating herself)and we had a blast and i have that night engraved on my heart and in my memory.I have never seen all of us that happy and so in touch with each other.It was great and i hope for more of those.This post is to my new family,cheers to us and alot more happy times.