I have been
a big fan of gossip for a while, especially Lezville gossip, but of late, I
think gossip has a whole new definition. Back in the day it used to be what so
and so did with the other so and so, based on being spotted somewhere or having
heard it from one of those sources that have no qualms being the BBC of the
community. But of late, gossip is an entirely different tale altogether, its
based on people sitting and sharing what she said about you and what you said
about her and who said what about who. The moment anyone mentions a name people
go into the: ‘The one who said blah.
blah. blah about so and so… ‘ zone. Is this really what is most important to
us? What you had to say about me? And what’s with the I don’t trust her routine
that is going down of late? Don’t get me wrong, I know better than most how
very tricky it is to trust people in this community. But I do not go out of my
way with placards and a bad word for all of them. I believe that trust is
earned. No matter how many people don’t trust me, I know there is always
someone out there that trusts me just as vehemently. You see, my ability to be
trusted is not based on the opinion you have of me, after all, an opinion is
like an asshole, we all have one. I could have done some really bad and mean
things to you, but that does not erase the good I have done for another. It
just means that the same way you don’t trust me, someone else out there doesn’t
trust you just as well. Everything you project unto others is directly
projected unto yourself.
The problem
is these trust issues are actually reflected in our relationships. I don’t
trust you, so you don’t trust me and in turn I don’t trust those that surround
you. Is this really how it’s supposed to go? If within the first 2 weeks of us
seeing each other you have heard from a friend who heard from a friend that I
am not the kind of woman for you and you start doubting us, did you ever truly
believe in the first place? And if we listen to those around us who say we make
an amazing couple, does it mean the day they change their minds we will have to
change course of this relationship?
Kerry recently said the only person you hurt
when you overshare is yourself, don’t go around giving people ammunition to
hurt you with. That is so true right? But what about those like some I know who
share it all with everyone? Isn’t it their way of making sure there is no mix
up of information from one party to the next? Recently a friend told me about a
run-in with an ex of mine that cared to share on how untrustworthy I am, and I
didn’t say a word about it, but later when I talked to Beauty about that
conversation I had a lot to say to my ‘friend’ who cared to share. You see, if
I trust you, I have no need to share my doubts about you with you, no matter
what I hear, am expected to make my own opinion of you with or without outside
information, its my duty to make a decision about you all by myself. Where your
friends and foes alike are concerned, do you trust because others trust or
because you have chosen to make a conscious decision to trust? Back to what
Kerry said, its true, if you overshare shit will come back to bite you. Not
everyone who smiles at you deserves your time of day everyone has an intention
and until you can discern someone’s intention, keep your muth shut and your
shit to yourelf. This is the bestadvice anyone can ever give you. Although, shit also has a way of catching up
with you. Even if you are not in the business of sharing information, hakuna
siri ya watu wawili. No secret can exist between two, so when it comes out and
you hadn’t bothered to share, is it a sin of omission or a lie that leads to
mistrust and distrust?
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